Dear Ghetto Genius,
I've been with the same girl for 3 years now. I have been faithful and honest to her, yet she accuses me of "fucking the Spanish toads" at work.
When we got together she was/is (yes, still is) married. She has a daughter from her previous relationship who I treat like my own child. We have had 2 kids together as well. Which the first son she faked a home pregnancy test and made me think she was already pregnant. She was not and got pregnant within a few nights after the test.
I am the sole provider in the house and I get calls or text from her daily, while at work, telling me how stressed she is with the kids and how she doesn't want to take care if them anymore. I have offered to put the kids in daycare so that she can go find a job or go back to school if she wanted to. She refuses to even attempt and still sends angry calls or text almost daily. When I get home she goes to work out, but then goes to her friends to drink (while driving our only car and my only means of transportation to work). I try to talk to her and make her realize we have kids and responsibilities and it only takes one time getting pulled over to loose her freedom and our car or worse to hurt or kill someone. She just gets angry and starts giving me shit.
There have been times when she would call me while I'm at work and tell me she can't handle the kids and she threatened to eat a handful of sleeping pills. Thankfully when I got there it was only 5 or so.
She usually puts her friends before me and tells me they don't try to control her. I don't want to control her, I want her to wake up and realize she has higher priorities then going out for 18 hours on a Saturday after I worked all week and put the kids to bed alone explaining mommy went to her friends house and she can't kiss them goodnight 4 times this week.
I also try to explain, to her, $1 a whole bunch of times adds up and we can never progress if we don't save money for a second car or a new house.
After she has punched me in the face on multiple occasions (she drew first blood 2 times now), tried to choke me out with both hands, and chipped my front tooth, I have stayed with her. After she was caught texting her ex (while pregnant with our first son) that's she missed him and wanted pictures of his "cute" face (while simultaneously texting me to come home from work to "give it to her"). I stayed with her. After she yelled at me about having women on my Facebook while at the same time a "friend" of mine was texting her how much he loved her and sent her pictures of his dick. Then she lied to me about where she was going to go hang out with him and the band he was in and left me with both kids and her angry dad (she made me quit my job move us 2 1/2 hours south to live with her dad because she had no friends and a warrant for her arrest for beating on her ex). I stayed with her. Before we moved I asked for her to try to make a personal add for friends on craigslist. She said she was too old to make new friends (she was like 23), but then when we get here her friends blow her off so she puts an add in craigslist for new friends. I stayed with her. I have also caught her putting an add on craigslist to sell her panties to guys willing to pay for them. I again, stayed with her.
I'm sure you have caught the pattern here. What should I do to get through or do I just finally give up? I need help fast.
Sincerely,
E-nonymous
Dear E-nonymous,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA, playa! Jesus fucking Christ cumming on a cracker. What in the actual fuck just happened right now?!
From the moment I read, "When we got together she was/is (yes, still is) married," to "After she has punched me in the face on multiple occasions (she drew first blood 2 times now), tried to choke me out with both hands, and chipped my front tooth, I have stayed with her," I stared at your email like this:
Hey man, it doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to tell you what the fuck is going on here, let alone, what to do. How-the-fuck-ever, you (like the rest of the world) come to me because you need an unbiased opinion because sometimes, "Shit just ain't that fucking easy". Am I right? Of course I am, motherfucker. That's why y'all love me. Anyway…
FACT: BITCHES BE CRAZY.
I have experienced, written about, have had numerous nightmares regarding said bitches. I know crazy when I see one. I am well equipped with a Craydometer (new word…you're welcome). Within seconds, I can sense the crazy so bad, that I immediately will turn the pussy away and just go home and masturbate to some Lionel Richie while looking at a Victoria's Secret catalog. Wait, what?
You my friend are with a crazy fucking bitch. One who 1) Had kids and got married way too fucking young, 2) Convinced herself, living the "adult life" was a great fucking idea and 3) Watched one hour too long of the Lifetime Channel. I'm no genius but man, this bitch needs to take a bath in some goddamn maturity or something. Matter of fact, this bitch just needs to start life over again. She needs to take her psychotic ass back into her mother's vagina, marinate for about 5-6 months, then try this thing they call "life," again. Real talk.
Shame on her for being a complete cunt to you, especially her kids but more importantly, SHAME ON YOU FOR STAYING WITH HER ASS.
Look man, don't give me your boo-hoo fucking story about how much you love her, whaaa whaaa, but she's my life, bullshit. This bitch is straight up crazy. From accusing you of fucking "Spanish toads" to going Ronda Rousey on your ass, you are a complete idiot for staying with her. I mean, for reals? I'm totally against hitting a woman but man, how you have not thrown this bitch through a living room window or shaken the shit out of her yet, is some Holy Bible shit on your part. Jesus must love the fuck out of you and your temperament. 80% of dudes who would have been in your position, probably would have went Gone Girl on a motherfucker.
The writing is obviously on the wall, playboy. Leave this bitch. Like, today. And take the goddamn kids with you. She doesn't deserve you or those kids she birthed. Fuck all that. Keeping her sorry ass around will lead to a few things:
1) You probably having enough of her shit and going Ray Rice on that ass (big no-no).
2) The kids on future episodes of Intervention. I've watched enough episodes to know these kids will be really fucked up if they stay around her crazy ass.
3) This broad pulling shade and doing God knows what to you and your family. Remember Gone Girl? I'm just saying. Bitches love to plot.
At the rate she's going, all signs point to "give it time…watch me ruin this motherfuckers life," type of shit. Straight up.
Brochacho, this bitch put an ad on Craigslist to sell her panties to guys willing to pay for them. On top of her being a whack ass mom and girlfriend, she went to Craigslist to prostitute her drawers, bruh.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!
Who in the fucking fuck does shit like that?! If y'all were broke, ok, I could see motherfuckers making sacrifices to make some dough. But damn, Gina. This broad trying to sell potpourri from her panties, dawg. Her crusty ass panties. Did she at least give a good price? FUCK.
I can give this gal excuses like, she got married way too young and had kids way too fast. And yeah, that's probably why she's a total cuntbag now. Because what you're supposed to do in your 20's, she is trying to play catch up and be about "that life". See, that's the problem with motherfuckers these days…they have their priorities all fucked up. Easy for the bitch to spread her legs at house parties, but when it comes time to get some pipe laid down all up in ya then getting injected with some baby gravy, you don't want to be a parent now.
AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!!
My advice to you, from me and the thousands reading this shit, LEAVE. Leave her, leave the house, leave the bbq and everything that can be replaced. Take the kids, go somewhere and leave that bitch for good. This isn't about right and wrong because this chick is all kinds of wrong.
You don't have to listen to me because you're a grown ass man but the reality is, your situation has no chance to get better. You think after 3 years this gal is gonna change? Shit man…I have a better chance of being the President when I'm 50. Think about it.
Godspeed,
J-Wun
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