The Scam Artist

For 5 years I've been riding BART from the East Bay into the city. And like every ride, there is always some fucking shit that has a brother scratching his head, wondering, "What the fuck did I just witness right now?" Another ride into the city turned into a goddamn Public Service Announcement for the "less fortunate". So the story goes...

"Excuse me ladies and gentleman...I'm sorry to bug you this evening but I desperately need your help. Me and my children were recently robbed and have lost EVERYTHING. Since we have to file paperwork, we can't get into a shelter for another 36-48 hours and need $47.97 to stay in a Motel 6 for a night.  Any help would be appreciated. God Bless."

Like I've said before, I've been commuting on this fucking train for the past 5 years. I've seen this bitch before and I've probably said something to her ass in the past. This bitch is a fucking scam artist...that's how I remember this fuckmouth. How do I know? Well, for one, I've seen her on three separate occasions pull this shit on my daily commute into the city. But this fucker always has a different story. The first time, her family just bought a house but didn't have the "means" for food. Did ya'll just read that? Someone just bought a house but couldn't afford food. Bitch, you just purchased a goddamn house...in the mother fucking Bay Area. How the fuck can you not afford food? That's like me saying I just bought a brand new BMW M5 but don't have money for gas. You fucking kidding me?! And sure enough, there are her kids with their hands out, collecting money.  Job well done you sneaky, triflin' trick. 

Incident #2 was even better. This sack of shit gets on BART and states to everyone some bullshit how she lost her job and was a recently attacked...BY A FUCKING NINJA. I'm not fucking joking you guys.  A goddamn ninja.  I think she said his name was Snake Eyes...you know, that mother fucker from G.I. Joe? In the Bay Area of all places.  Attacked this woman.  But before I go off, lets go back to the job thing really quick.  First of all, don't you need a fucking job in order to lose one? Didn't you just purchase a fucking house and ask these same daily commuters to donate money for food, like, two months ago?  And that whole act about you getting your ass whipped by an apparent "ninja" has me fucking floored by the way. A fucking ninja?! Where the fuck is there a ninja in Oakland, lady?! You mean, Raider fan mother fucker? For sucks sake...you really stated that you were attacked by a goddamn ninja. But, sure enough, her daughters hands were out and money was pouring in. Where do I sign up for the scam class you're taking? Because a mother fucker is broke these days. I need a good lesson or two. 

Event #3 was much better because it created much more drama. This time, this same lady who bought a house and couldn't afford food, lost her job and was attacked by Bruce Lee's brother, was now trying to help her family get back on their feet from some apparent "devastation" that she claimed made her lose EVERYTHING.  Her whole speech was the same but the issue was different. The daily commuters knew the drill but the few that rode BART on this very day, ate it up...until some chick stepped in and called this bitch out. "Ma'am, you need to stop with whatever you're trying to pull and get off this train. I've heard you with multiple sob stories and I'm tired of you trying to scam myself and these passengers."  The look on Scammy Spice was of complete shock and embarrassment.  I mean, I'd be pretty fucking shocked too if I got called out knowing I've been trying to pull a fast one on these folks.  You also gotta be pretty fucking stupid that the shit you're trying to pull are on people that ride the BART daily.  This bitch has to be somewhat retarded, right?  Anyway, what this passenger did by speaking up gave all the daily riders a sigh of relief.  What she said, you knew everyone else wanted to say but was too much of a goddamn pussy to say it. Me being one of those pussies. And fuck you guys for laughing. Once the call out was made, Scammy Cammy ditched the train at the next stop.

So here we are.  It's 7:30am, I'm listening to some Pac on my headphones, and this bitch is back giving a sermon on her troubles...with her three cute kids, mind you. I couldn't take this shit anymore. Listening to this bitch try to pull another fast one on some of us hard working individuals. Not only that but, she was getting her kids involved which just got me more fucking pissed off. Getting me pissed off while in a "wildcard" mood  is not a good thing. J-Wunder usually brings the goddamn thunder when this happens. And boy, did it fucking happen. "Excuse me lady, this bullshit needs to fucking stop right now.  How the fuck are you gonna pull this sob story bullshit to all these people?!  Some of us mother fuckers work hard for a goddamn living and now you want to give us some shit on how you need money and involve your three kids who should be in fucking school right now?!  People, don't listen to this fucking bitch because it's all a goddamn scam. I know this because I commute every fucking day from the East Bay to the city and I've seen her at least three times pulling this shit.  Nice try lady." That's what I said, verbatim. After my tirade, there was definitely a morning awkward silence from everyone except one guy.

"Man, you a racist." Yup, some dude that looked liked a broke ass Chad Ochocinco called me a fucking racist. All I can say is, WOW. Racist, really? See, it's stupid mother fuckers like this guy, that don't know sugar from shit and need to be educated more in life. News flash buddy - go fuck yourself because it doesn't matter if you're black, white, chinese or alienese (alien plus some other type of origin), trying to pull a scam while involving your kids is absolute fucking bullshit. So fuck you and stay out of my goddamn business asshole. Now, did I say any of that to him? No because this mother fucker was big. I wasn't trying to go to work AND get my ass kicked. All I said to him was, "Look up racism buddy. You have no clue what the fuck you're talking about. This bitch has done this too many times and I'm tired of it." Of course after my thoughtful words, he shrugs me off and gives this bitch two dollars.

With exception to this ass fuck, four other people donated money to this lady. All of who probably thought I was also a "racist". What made me laugh though, was the fact that this bitch was holding a Coach purse, sporting a Louis Vitton jacket and a fresh new do, while collecting money with her kids...who were all wearing designer clothes too. But hey, this bitch got robbed. She also lost her fucking job, bought a house, can't afford food, got attacked by a ninja and lost everything during some apparent Bay Area version of "Hurricane Katrina".

These are the people I have to deal with at least once a month.  I should have kicked her in the fucking face.  Maybe next time...