A blog that's not only one of a kind, but one of a kind and fucking funny. You may not laugh at everything, but I know for goddamn certain you'll laugh at something. People love watching train wrecks—and I’m happy to oblige. Because sharing these stories has taught me not to take life so seriously. And through my experiences with the blog I’ve found that honestly sharing my most humiliating stories not only makes people laugh, but helps them with their own problems.
Doc here.. Save old, found panties.. I do. See, sometimes you get a little fucked up, tell some sweet bitch a bunch of lies, put a little Molly in her drink... And before you know it, you're behind her in bed, pulling down panties and trying to rationalize fucking her raw-dog on the first date... "she LOOKS like she takes birth control... I'm sure she doesn't have AIDS.. eg, fuck it.. YOLO!" Now, if yall party like I party? You know damn well that bitch is probably staying the night.. Why? Cuz 1) the dick is good and I'm gonna fuck that poo-say Like she stole something, that is..till she walks crooked. 2) "i'm not driving anywhere, bitch! I'm drunk!. Yeah, I know your sloppy ass left your jetta at TGIfridays and no, I'm not buying your broke ass a cab...Buses start running at 9, if you want we can call your man to come get you... Now come here and give daddy another taste." Right, where was I? Oh, right! Old panties! So in the morning? When I wake up before her to make sure she didn't steal any of my shit? I get the old panties, sprinkle them around the bathroom hamper. She's gonna get up.. Wanna freshen up.. And trust me.. When a bitch goes into your bathroom? They fucking SNOOOOP! it's like a fucking CSI episode. Nosey Bitches! Anywho.. They find the panties and a couple things happen: A) "holy fuck! He's fucking half of Los Angeles or he's got a wife/girlfriend! I gotta go!!" Or B) "holY fuck! He's fucking half of Los Angeles or he's got a wife/GF... I Just found some fucked-up dirty motherfucker to hang with!" The girls who find the panties and stay? They get omelets. The ones who leave? They get bus fare.
Anonymous! I fucking LOVE you (the one who wrote the comment above mine) and The Anonymous who posted this, have my kids. f'real! (after your balloon knot feels better <3)
3 comments:
The best part is that someone 'liked' it lmao xD
Doc here..
Save old, found panties..
I do.
See, sometimes you get a little fucked up, tell some sweet bitch a bunch of lies, put a little Molly in her drink... And before you know it, you're behind her in bed, pulling down panties and trying to rationalize fucking her raw-dog on the first date...
"she LOOKS like she takes birth control... I'm sure she doesn't have AIDS.. eg, fuck it.. YOLO!"
Now, if yall party like I party? You know damn well that bitch is probably staying the night..
Why?
Cuz
1) the dick is good and I'm gonna fuck that poo-say Like she stole something, that is..till she walks crooked.
2) "i'm not driving anywhere, bitch! I'm drunk!. Yeah, I know your sloppy ass left your jetta at TGIfridays and no, I'm not buying your broke ass a cab...Buses start running at 9, if you want we can call your man to come get you... Now come here and give daddy another taste."
Right, where was I?
Oh, right! Old panties!
So in the morning? When I wake up before her to make sure she didn't steal any of my shit?
I get the old panties, sprinkle them around the bathroom hamper.
She's gonna get up.. Wanna freshen up..
And trust me.. When a bitch goes into your bathroom? They fucking SNOOOOP! it's like a fucking CSI episode. Nosey Bitches!
Anywho.. They find the panties and a couple things happen:
A) "holy fuck! He's fucking half of Los Angeles or he's got a wife/girlfriend! I gotta go!!"
Or
B) "holY fuck! He's fucking half of Los Angeles or he's got a wife/GF... I Just found some fucked-up dirty motherfucker to hang with!"
The girls who find the panties and stay?
They get omelets.
The ones who leave?
They get bus fare.
Anonymous! I fucking LOVE you (the one who wrote the comment above mine) and The Anonymous who posted this, have my kids. f'real! (after your balloon knot feels better <3)
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