A blog that's not only one of a kind, but one of a kind and fucking funny. You may not laugh at everything, but I know for goddamn certain you'll laugh at something. People love watching train wrecks—and I’m happy to oblige. Because sharing these stories has taught me not to take life so seriously. And through my experiences with the blog I’ve found that honestly sharing my most humiliating stories not only makes people laugh, but helps them with their own problems.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
If You're Gonna Go To Jail, Make It EPIC!!!!!
One man traveling through Tennessee allegedly completed a crime spree with such urgency that even local police say they'd never seen anything like it.
William Todd, 24, is accused of committing 10 felonies in just nine hours while going on a "terror" through Nashville.
"He was just on a terror. I've never seen anything like this before," Sgt. Tony Blackburn, told WSMV.
Todd is not even a native of Nashville. Police say he traveled there on a Greyhound bus from Kentucky before beginning his unprecedented crime spree. Upon arriving in Nashville, he allegedly broke into a local business called The Slaughterhouse, where he stole a Taser, revolver and shotgun. He then proceeded to steal a T-shirt from the Slaughterhouse before burning the business to the ground.
Todd then moved on to a local bar, where he held four patrons at gunpoint. He robbed all four individuals but not before using the Taser on one and pistol-whipping another.
Just five minutes later, Todd moved onto his next alleged felony, carjacking a taxi driver at gunpoint. After leaving the cab, he used the credit cards he had stolen from the bar patrons to buy food.
"He was able to find the Walmart on Nolensville. He goes there and purchased $199 worth of items," Sgt. Blackburn said.
And that was only the beginning.
In the early hours of the following morning, Todd then broke into a local hotel's law office. He not only vandalized the offices but also then defecated on a desk and smeared his feces on some of the framed law degrees.
Leaving the offices, Todd then reportedly robbed several of the hotel guests. He knocked on their door pretending to be a female housekeeper, then robbed them at gunpoint. He was also reportedly crying while doing so.
He then briefly paused for a change in personal appearance.
"We have him on video leaving the hotel with a shaved head," Sgt. Blackburn said.
After crashing his stolen cab into a local parking garage, Todd then quickly held another taxi driver at gunpoint. When police finally apprehended Todd, he was hiding atop Opryland, partially submerged in a water-cooling vat. The Metro Fire Department was brought in to assist in Todd's removal from the vat, using a bucket and ladder truck.
His bond has reportedly been set at $180,000.
"He rode the Greyhound bus and had a layover, then left in blue lights," Sgt. Blackburn said. "There definitely could be more charges. We hope that there are no more victims."
via - Yahoo! News
Labels:
funny story,
holy shit,
jail,
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13 comments:
That is fucking insanity. I may have just fallen in love. :)
I hoped he wiped his ass!
I hope he washed his hands!
My son goes to school at Belmont Univ. in Nashville. He told me about this nut job. Like you said...MAKE IT FUCKING EPIC!!!
Dude all I picture is his gross behind floating in some water
Trish, I bow to your comment -bows-
So he pretty much played GTA irl without really comitting any murders. I am okay with this.
He played to much Grand Theft Auto.
going in on vacation leaving on probation lol or more
Great, thanks to the people commenting about video games. You do realize some moron in the media will see this and make shit for us gamers again! Hmmm maybe I need to go start shouting at people in the hope they get thrown a few hundred feet away.
LOL at from the hip, touche. Agreed.
Where does taking a shit on a desk and then playing in it fit into his shenanigans? I can just see the prison convo..."Man, what you in for?"..."Oh, a little robbery, robbery at gun point, GTA, pooping on a desk..."
Lmao @ anonymous comment! That would be a prett halarious convo! Could you imagine what his defense might be! Im sorry your honor... I just had a real shitty day! Lol
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