MILLION MOTHER FUCKIN' MARCH!!!!

15 1/2 months. Over 2,000 posts. Love and support from folks in North America, Europe, Asia, South America...hell, places I've never even fucking heard of. I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting 1,000,000+ hits, lets alone a fucking thousand. If you saw me on the streets you wouldn't notice me. If you saw me at a bar, I'd just be the fucking drunk guy trying to get laid while stealing the bartender's tips (shady, I know...but mother fuckers are broke these days). No expectations. None. Nada. Zero. Fucking zip.

When you start a blog, you have no fucking idea about anything. I'm talking any-fucking-thing. At least for my punk ass. All you know is that you want to captivate an audience to a point where you want them to come back...even if you have to bribe the mother fuckers with money or sexual favors. Wait, what?! So how in the fucking fuck was I going to do that? How was I, the no-name mother fucker, going to get people to read my shit and come back for more? Then it hit me...ADVICE COLUMNS. FUCKED UP REAL-LIFE STORIES. RANDOM SHIT FROM THE INTERNET. All things mother fuckers find entertaining as fuck, but in one place. One blog. My blog. Inside the Mind of a Ghetto Genius.

The rest is fucking history.

I was going to write some heartfelt bullshit about this and that...along with some other pansy shit. But the reality is, there aren't enough fucking words to show my gratitude to you fucking fans out there. There isn't anything I could do to say, "I appreciate you mother fuckers "this much"." My contributors and I will keep writing, keep posting random shit, just so you can get entertainment on the daily. That's our job...to help each and every one of you mother fuckers escape from the day-to-day bullshit for 10 minutes, any chance you get. This is why we do this. For you amazing fucks out there who need a laugh and a little something to take off the edge.

15 1/2 months ago, I got my first official stats: 4,637 hits. When I first saw this, I took off my clothes, lubed my dong up with mad KY and jerked off three times in a row while listen to porn in the background. I was an ecstatic mother fucker as you could probably tell. Stats NOW...300K hits - in a month. Do the fucking math. Talk about exciting, right? If you think jerking off to four thousand hits in month was a little extreme, try putting a london broil between the couch pads and fucking it like it was the hottest Asian chick at a massage parlor. Wait, what? Sorry, that's for a column I'm saving for a rainy ass day. But I digress...

I ain't shit without all the blog supporters and fan faithful. For you guys to read the whacky and off-the-wall shit my contributors and I talk about, says a whole fucking lot. More than any of you fuckers probably know. Never have I seen an inbox full of advice column questions and thank you's. You people help make the blog what it is. Now, some of you are just fucking crazy and need to re-evaluate some of the shit you send to us. Because honestly, some of you mother fuckers sound a little off and might need to see Maury Povich, Dr. Phil, or just check your ass into a goddamn crazy house...or run in front of a moving bus altogether. Real talk. Outside of that though, you know I have nothing but love for you guys. Even you crazy mother fuckers who can't get enough.

To the haters who don't like what my blog is about...guess what? THANK YOU! Thank you for helping my crew and I get more hits. You may not like one fucking thing about it, but you'll still come back because you always want to know what we're going to say next. It's a beautiful fucking thing, I tell ya.

And for you folks who want to go on a goddamn diatribe about certain columns that are written for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES...here's some advice (on behalf of myself and The CREW): if you think you have better answers, or you don't agree with whatever the fuck we say - CREATE YOUR OWN FUCKING BLOG FUCKMOUTH. We ain't trying to hear whatever the fuck you have to say, so chill the fuck out or move the fuck on. We have haters already, don't be part of the trend. Realize it's jokes, mother fuckers. Grow a backbone and live a little. You came to see us, we have no intention to be involved in whatever the fuck you have going on, so quit fucking up our universe. See where this is going slapdick? Good.

In any event, here's to a million and a million more. To every single person who enjoys this blog for the reasons you fucking enjoy it - THANK YOU. As long as you keep fucking laughing, we'll keep up with the funny bullshit. To my contributors...you know I got nothing but love for all of you and want to have sex with 6 of you. Even you J-Shap, you fucking lesbo. Thank you is an understatement so when I can find the right words to express my gratitude to you all, I will. But more than likely if I find that word, I'll be too fucking drunk to re-remember it. So yeah, I guess what I'm saying is, THANK YOU.

What's in store for 2012 and beyond? Who fucking knows. What I do know is that we'll keep doing what we're doing because we didn't get here by fucking accident. Just make sure you mother fuckers can keep up and spread the goddamn word.

Cheers bitches!

J-Wun and The CREW