A Night I Wish I Never Would Remember

It was the most awkward fucking moment I’ve ever had in my fucking life. No, I’m not talking about whiskey dick. Hell, I’m not even talking about under performing in the sack. I’m talking about my first threesome. With me, my buddy and this hot brunette we met at a bar one night. Fellas, ever been in a threesome with another dude and your dicks touch? If you haven’t, let me just tell you…it’s the most fucked up feeling in the world. Have a seat, this should be entertaining…

My buddy and I brought a chick back to my place to play two cocks and one vagina. Never in my life have I seen a broad so fucking eager to want to have a threesome. And never have I been so fucking excited to be in one. I’ll be honest, I wish it was with me and two other chicks but fuck…beggars can’t be choosers, right? Game time was under way…

There she was…drunk, horny and ready for two strangers to do some ground and pound on that ass and vagina. I pulled my buddy into the living room so we can establish some ground rules since this was my first time and all. Basically, I told him if we were gonna do this, we had to make a few things clear:

1) She’s sucking my dick first. I ain’t trying to get my dick sucked second then have her kiss me. Fuck all that. Last thing I want to do is taste your fucking cock in her mouth. Truth be told, I need to kiss a bitch because if she’s a good kisser, that tells me she’s gonna do a pretty good job giving dome. FACT.

2) Cum on her, not in her. We’re boys and I love you but bro, I ain’t trying to get your sticky icky on my fucking cock dude. That shit is just fucking gross.

3) It’s a threesome not a twosome, so don’t get greedy with the pussy. Friends share, motherfucker.

4) If you cum too early, there is no re-entry. Tough luck bitch.

5) No matter what, there will be NO SWORD CROSSING AND/OR TOUCHING. I have nothing against gays but if our dicks touch, I’m gonna freak the fuck out.

Five rules. Five simple fucking rules that I thought could be followed. A night that went sooo fucking right in the beginning, turned into an awkward fucking moment towards the end. Not for the chick…but for my buddy and I. Or should I say, me.

The threesome was like a perfectly written script. We were fucking, she was moaning and the earth was moving at a rapid pace. I don’t think I’ve ever hi-fived a friend more times in one night than I did that night. I’m telling you, this bitch was a fucking freak. One minute she was sucking and getting fucked, the next minute she was telling us to line up next to each other so she could squirt her version of Niagra fucking Falls onto our faces. Shit was going down, my room smelled like a butcher shop and this broad was giving and getting everything she asked for and wanted. Then it fucking happened…

Chick: “I want one of you to put it in my ass and the other in my pussy. Do it right now you hard dick mother fuckers. NOW!!!!”

It was those words that I knew this bitch didn’t fuck around. I mean, I should have known she was a goddamn freak when she was asking one of us to choke her while the other one was taking a belt and spanking her ass like it was full on child abuse for 25 fucking minutes. It was like we were doing some sort of naked gang initiation to this broad but she was calling all the fucking shots. So without any thought, my buddy gave me the signal he was going in for the brown eye while I go in for the good ‘ol vag. Within 5 minutes, mission accomplished. However two minutes after, shit went south…

There I am, going to town…pounding that shit like I was tenderizing meat. She’s screaming. We’re grunting. Shit is going down like a Jenna Jameson porn from 2002. Then in one outward dick pump, that moment of manliness, turned into the most fucked up moment of the night…our dicks touched. Full on, 100%, my dick and my buddy’s dick did one full dick stroke in stride. It was like synchronized swimming but for sex. Balls and everything. Gliding and touching as if we were holding hands, skipping in a field full of fucking daisies.

It was at that moment when his dick touched mine that my night was done. My penis that was so hard for so long shrunk into a Vienna Sausage instantly. Look, I’m no homophobe by any means, but when your laying down on your back, as a hot chick is riding you and all of the sudden you feel another cock rub up against yours…you’re gonna freak the fuck out. Especially if it’s your first time. Trust me, if I was a pro at this, I probably could have shrugged it off and kept going, but I couldn’t. My dick couldn’t. Everything inside me died. Rubbing dicks with my boy startled me so fucking bad that when my dick went limp, it looked like I jumped into a pool that was 42 degrees. Talk about scared, right? You try being the guy that pulls away from the horny broad and looks like your cock just turned into a fucking vagina. Not cool. At all. Thank fucking goodness she was at least a little drunk so she couldn’t notice (I think).

The only thing I could do at that moment was not say a thing and shoot straight to the bathroom. At that point, I didn’t even care if that chick was even thinking anything. I was just mad at the fact that my buddy was able to shrug it off and fuck her like it was the last piece of pussy he was ever going to bang. To his credit, he finished off the job and I’m pretty sure she came so hard she cried. Fucking asshole.

I spent those last moments in the bathroom giving myself a pep talk on how everything was going to be ok and that shit happens. Who the fuck does that? Who freaks out from a minor dick rub after 25 minutes then gets dick shrinkage that looks as if is hung like a toddler? This guy…that’s fucking who. I never had a threesome after that and promised myself if I were to ever do it again, it would have to be with two other chicks. I guess having another dick in the conversation isn’t my thing.

I bet I’ll forever be known as the guy that got baby dick after an innocent dick hi-five. Fuck that shit.This is fucked up!