2 lines you’re pregnant, 1 you’re not:
Deena, Deena, Deena…it’s always gotta be something with your fucked up ass, huh? No matter what you say or what you do, you love to bring drama to the table. In this episode, the possibility you might be fucking pregnant. Wait, what?! You heard right…PREGNANT.
Now, I’m not in the fucking medical field but I do know a thing or two about a thing or two. And Deena, what I know is that your ass ain’t fucking pregnant bitch. You mother fuckers have been in Italy for AT LEAST 4-6 weeks, partying your asses off and now you want to bring up the fact you might be knocked up? Get the fuck outta here you fucking troll. STOP THIS SHIT. Pregnant? Mother fucker, you need to fuck a dude first before you even think of such a thing. Apparently, you “fucked” some dude before you left to Italy. We all know you haven’t fucked shit except that vibrator you got from Wal-Mart back in 2009. How do I know? Well, considering for the past two seasons you’ve thrown your fat ass pussy at every fucking breathing male and have been shut down, that is proof that you my friend, can’t even get dick when DESPERATELY trying to get dick. That right there is down right fucking sad. I think the average American who isn’t even looking for a piece of ass has fucked more than you. True story. But I digress…
JWOW being the mom that she is, helps you out, gets you a preggo test and you head back to the pad to find out, your troll ass ain’t fucking pregnant. Yay (barf)!!! So much for drama, right? Deena, I mean this with all due respect cunt, but, lets be real…what fucking woman drinks for WEEKS then realizes one day that she might be pregnant? Ok, so maybe there are a few of you bitches out there that have, but come the fuck on. We know you haven’t fucked anybody in like, I don’t know…EVER. So stop this shit. Please. Case in point, you tried throwing your shit at Pauly D…again…and of course, ACCESS DENIED. Man, crack head bitches get more dick then you. True story and that must fucking suck to be you.
All great things aren’t great…if they involve Snooki:
Jionni and Snooki have ended (maybe). Why? Long story short...Snooki danced like a fucking whore at the club showing her fat ass mud flaps and big ass titties for the world to see. Jionni got fucking pissed...called her some shit like a fucking whore or cunt, bounced off into the night and peaced the fuck out back to Jersey...where I'm sure he's gonna find another awful broad like Snooki. Which brings me to what is going on now.
Snooki, heartbroken, is sad that she lost her guy that was 100% "marriage material". Uh bitch...you're missing one fucking part...YOU AIN'T MARRIAGE MATERIAL. Hey, I get it...when you're young, you wanna have fun. Shit, I was young once too, and still manage to have fun. But for fuck's fucking sake, this bitch takes shit to another echelon sometimes you know?! I don't blame Luigi or whatever the fuck his name is...he had every right to get mad. He's dating a girl and not a stripper. If the mother fucker wanted that, he'd go to a strip club OR date the real Snooki...which that bitch probably hasn't shown him until the cameras were rolling. In any event, I'm glad that bitch got booted because for starters:
1) She's not marriage material
2) She's constant drama (men don't like fucking drama)
3) She loves too much dick to just only have one (waiiiit for iiiiit...)
4) She thinks a relationship for 6 months is "REAL"
5) She's a broke ass bitch. Plain.And.Simple.
America will agree, this bitch got problems. No one felt sad that she was heart broken. Why? Because within a day of Fettuccine leaving, guess who's dick she was sucking? That's right, Mr. Sweet Dick Vinny. The man that was pounding that pussy last season (or was it the season before) every fucking night. Watching this broad do what she does on tv and real life, made me realize one thing: She's a train that's already fucking derailed. True story.
I don't care what anyone says...she's fucked up like the rest of the cast with exception to Vinny and Pauly D...and maybe JWOW. I mean, think about it...if Mike isn't trying to knock himself out, Ronnie and Sammi aren't trying to stab each other with cutlery and manly ass Deena isn't acting like a dumb fucking bitch because she is, it's Snooki who needs to raise the roof with D-R-A-M-A. And if there is one thing I learned about people who love drama...THEY LOVE ATTENTION.
Another episode down, a few more to go. When are we going to see an episode that will leave America saying, "WTFFFFFFFFF?!??!?!" Hmmm...probably when Deena actually fucks a real person.
Until next time folks...
P.S. - Is it me, or is "The Situation" a creepy ass mother fucker? If Snooki won't fuck him, then something ain't even right. Just sayin'...
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