It's June and boy has time fucking flown in 2011. And because we're officially half way through the year, I thought it would be appropriate to review what I have learned, seen and watched these last 6 months, so that all you readers out there are aware of things you might not have known, don't give two shits about or need to follow-up on. So without further adieu fuck faces...LETS DO THIS SHIT!
1) "Looks aren't everything." Keep telling yourself that...ugly fuck.
2) You can run, but you can't fucking hide. Just ask Osama Bin Shot in the mother fucking Face! Bang bang bitch!
3) Don't matter if the bitch sings in Chinese, Katy Perry is fucking smoking hot!
4) Kanye West...you're still an asshole.
5) "Beer before liquor, never been sicker". No mother fucker...you drink too much, your ass will get drunk, pass the fuck out and wake up in your own puke. I don't need some dumb ass quote to tell me shit I already know.
6) Writing in ALL CAPS AND TALKING SHIT ON FACEBOOK DOESN'T MAKE YOU TOUGH YOU MOTHER FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK FACE FUCKS! I mean really...that shit don't scare anybody but your high school English teacher.
7) Vegans are some weird mother fuckers.
8) Anyone that doesn't cuss are weird mother fuckers.
9) Anyone that is "saving themselves for marriage" are weird mother fuckers AND idiots. #sexisamazeballs
10) Yo dick, bigger than a bridge...my dick, looks like a little kids.
11) 9 out of 10 people want to stab their co-worker with a dull knife. #lockjawbitch
12) If you buy 30 dollars worth of shit at 7-11, you better be wasted.
13) The word "cunt" just rolls right off the tongue.
14) 53.8% of statistics are made up. This not being one of them.
15) Dove soap not only makes your skin soft but it's the best soap to jackoff with.
16) People who wipe their ass with the opposite hand the very first time will get shit on their thumb.
17) Justin Bieber is gay.
18) Usher is happy.
19) Women are crazy bitches. Men are fucking idiots.
20) Lady Gaga...*shaking my head*
21) People who post cryptic messages on Facebook on a daily basis, tell the world one thing: They can't even get attention from rocks.
22) Just because you have over 1,000 friends on Facebook, doesn't mean jack shit. Cunt.
23) At age 32, your penis will NOT get bigger. Matter of fact, if you keep eating, your dick will start to look like a vagina. (note to self: less weights, more cardio)
24) AIDS you die. Herpes, you're fucked. FOREVER.
25) If you can't dance, you can't fuck.
26) Women who tease, give really bad blow jobs.
27) Men who tease are gay. As in, they don't like women, they like dudes.
28) No one gives a flying fuck where you "check-in". I have an idea...how bout I check my foot in your ass next time. Asshole.
29) When things are going tough and you want the world to know...do everyone a favor, just end your fucking life. #noonewantstohearthatshit
30) 8======0 ~~~~~ \ \{}/ / (Golden Shower)
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