"Just Ask Alberto..."

Who's Alberto you ask? My good friend and a Mexican legend from Riverbank, CA.





Now that you've gotten to know him through this 55 second profile clip, I thought the blog could use his insights on life. So...what better way to do that then to ask my beaner friend questions that linger on my mind day-to-day. So without further adieu, ladies and gents..."Just ask Alberto..."


Why do Mexican's wear white jeans?
- Mexicans wear white jeans because most white jeans are on the clearance rack at your local Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, or other retail outlets. 

What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
- First thing I notice about the opposite sex is AHP (ass and hip package).  Not really a boob man they don't do much for me. 

What's the first thing you thought about this morning?
- The first thing I thought about this morning was, "why the fuck is it raining in May, I hope this isn't a sign that the Mayan calendar 2012 bullshit is accurate."

Grilled or Fried?
- Fried for sure

3 things you cannot live without?
- T.V., beer, music

Favorite song?
- Favorite song is between:



AND




What are you afraid of?
- I am afraid of getting the clap, Aids, HIV, I am afraid of saggy balls (which is why I wear tighty-whities now), and finally I am afraid of being attacked by an aardvark. 

Are you a giver or a taker?
- I am a giver.  Not to the degree of my friend (who will remain nameless; he is known as "the hurricane") 

Did America really put a man on the moon?
- I don't care.  Does it really matter that we put a man on the moon?  I mean, we captured and killed Bin Laden and most people don't believe we caught him.  Nonetheless, going back to my first point... Who cares! 

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?
- The sniff technique.  (use your imagination)... oh wait I forgot the taste technique.  The taste technique is when you lick the toilet paper to see if you taste shit.  If you do, you need to keep wiping...