Rapid Fire with J-Wunder

Today's topic: How Mr. Wunder is holding up in Houston this week. 

Q: So how was your birthday?

A: Fuck you.

Q: So that means, not so good?

A: Does "fuck you" mean "it was a blast"?

Q: Well you cuss a lot.

A: And you're a fucking piece of shit. Next question.

Q: How's Houston so far?

A: Interesting.

Q: Really? How?

A: Well, considering I was attacked by a goddamn hospital escapee in my hotel room and I beat her arm to death with my hotel door, I've been entertained. I mean, the crazy bitch had the nerve to chase my car down while running into oncoming traffic. Didn't get the chance to look back to see if her crazy ass got hit by a truck or something. I swear I'm cursed. How could two crazy women rob and attack me in less than a month?!

Q: Sounds like you have the best luck?

A: I would rather have AIDS.

Q: What's the most interesting thing that you've found in Texas so far?

A: No zoning laws. It's fucking amazing. You can literally go to church, walk out, then walk into a strip club 10 feet away. How fucking awesome is that? Oh, and it's BYOB at some of these strip clubs too. It's a naked tailgating party with a choir singing in the background. Praise the man in the morning then see some titties by brunch...the best of both worlds.

Q: What's on tap for tonight?

A: Martini's, some steak and maybe some titties.

Q: You sure like strip clubs for as much as you talk about tits, huh?

A: Not really. I mean, it was cool back in the day then realized I was paying way too much to get blue balls. I just say titties because titties is a funny word. Titties for everyone. See, that shit is fucking funny.

Q: So are you planning to at least celebrate your birthday in typical J-Wunder fashion when you get back home?

A: My birthday is long gone my friend. I'm over it. But if you're buying, I'm drinking. Later cock sucker...time to go eat and drink something. BTW - your mom says hi, asshole. Man, she's fine!