Rapid Fire with J-Wunder: Birthday Edition

In today's installment, it's all about birthday's. J-Wunder style, of course. Happy Birthday J-Wun! Dick.


Q: Worst birthday gift ever?

A: Lent (as in, you can't do shit because Jesus will send you to hell...thanks dad for letting me not do shit for 18 years)

Q: Best birthday gift ever?

A: Lakers tix, 1998, Great Western Forum against the T'Wolves

Q: Weirdest birthday gift?

A: A chick I knew for 6 hours and had a one night stand with told me she loved me and I'm her world. She did this while I was only wearing one sock. Talk about awkward.

Q: Best birthday party?

A: My Dirty 30. We had an ice sculpture that you could drink booze out of. An Ice Sculpture that shot out booze. Yes, I got drunk.

Q: Worst birthday party?

A: Besides my birthday falling on Easter when I was a kid...not sure. Maybe because I blacked out.

Q: Worst birthday drink?

A: That was a dumb fucking question.

Q: Best birthday drink?

A: Again, dumb fucking question.

Q: If there was one thing you wanted on your birthday that you never got, what was it?

A: Viagra

Q: If there was one thing you didn't want that you got on your birthday, what was it?

A: My girlfriend on her period.

Q: Big birthday parties or something chill?

A: As long as there's booze there, who really gives a shit, right?

Q: Do you drink a lot on your birthday?

A: What defines "a lot"?

Q: Worst birthday hangover?

A: My 23rd birthday. Not sure where I celebrated it. And who I was with. Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Q: Pet peeve about people that celebrate their birthday?

A: If you feel the need to celebrate that shit for a month, go fuck yourself. You ain't that special.

Q: What are you doing for your birthday today?

A: Flying to Houston.

Q: For fun?

A: Yeah, for fucking fun. Because that's where I wanna go for my fucking birthday asshole...Houston fucking Texas. Who writes these fucking questions. Jesus.

Q: How does it feel being 32?

A: It feels like feeling a tit for the first time. Awesome.

Q: Do you still feel like you're 21 again?

A: No. Only because when I take a shit now, my back cracks. That's called age. It is what it is.

Q: Are you hoping to celebrate when you get back from Houston?

A: If I don't, then there would be a lot of disappointed people. Especially from my homeboy, Jesus.

Q: Any last birthday words?

A: I just want to thank my mom and dad for boning each other and having me. God has given this world a guy that people either love, hate, or want to drink with. I'm blessed to have such sexual parents and good people that surround me.

Q: Happy Birthday J-Wunder!

A: You're Welcome.

Q: That doesn't make sense.

A: Fuck you. You're welcome asshole.