A Long Overdue Letter to the Editor

Attention J-Wunder: This one’s for you, fucker.

So a while back when I was in my way into work, pissed off at the fucking world because my bus was running late, again, I start reading this blog (aka my favorite morning activity).

The first story I come to was written by my dear friend J, responding to a fan letter. My first thought: “Aww shucks, this is going to be great, J always has fucking awesome words for his fans.” BUT then, as I’m listening to some Nate Dogg (RIP buddy), I get to his response. And much to my fucking horror, I start reading J-fucking-Wunder take credit for 100% of the crazy shit you read on this blog. Really, Mother Fucker? Really??

Check out the letter for yourself if you haven’t already: http://tiny.cc/wfb9a

So after I read this, I got pretty pissed and vowed that I would send J a clear message… Where in the fuck is the acknowledgment and “thank you’s” for all of my support I’ve given to this blog of his?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll give him credit that all of the heart and soul (and fucking insanity) behind this blog, is him… I mean you see the 800 fucking Facebook posts per day, right? But what many of you don’t know, is that this mother fucker actually gets a bit of help, from yours truly.

I realize this letter is pretty damn long overdue, but see the thing is, I've been really fucking busy. When I say: "really fucking busy," I'm not just being another one of those annoying fucks who thinks they’re busy because they have an extra load of laundry, or an 8am meeting, god forbid. I’m talking about 90 hour work weeks that are so fucking stressful all you can do is drink hard liquor so you don’t kill your co-workers, busy. And might I say, 90 hour works weeks with a hangover, SUCK.

So for those of you who have missed my rants and raves, thank you! For those of you who have no fucking idea who I am, how about you go fuck yourselves and learn a thing or two about me.

First, the name... I got the nickname “Ball Buster” from Mr. Wunder himself. You ask yourself, “Why Ball Buster? What exactly does that mean?” Well, let’s start with the definition:

BALL BUSTER (noun):

• a female who gains power over a male by causing him pain to his testicle (commonly “nuts”). The female most often employs her legs for the task, because of the relative proximity to the groin.

Wow… REALLY J? That’s what you think of me? I mean, I have never actually kneed you in the balls, but maybe I should? So naturally, I kept reading…

• a female who humiliates, belittles, chastises, di-habilitates, or otherwise causes distress to a man through non-physical means.

Shit, that does sound a lot like me. You do know me J, fuck.

So my original plan was to rip J a new asshole... call him the fuck out for the lack of respect.

But before I can get to it, whaddya know, the guy apologizes. Weird right? He doesn't seem like the type.

You don't believe me, check it out for yourself: http://tinyurl.com/3bndyjs

Although the guy called me a Cunt approximately 743 times, an apology is an apology. And this coming from the guy who promised to never use the word "cunt" in a blog posting, and then starts dropping the word like he wanted to change his name to Cunty McCunterson. My rule - you capitalize the C in Cunt, it's a proper name and totally appropriate to use (and I'm a chick, so you can't get mad).

What's next from this fuck face, I ask myself? Well I'm enjoying my Sunday afternoon and see that Captain Asshole is saying he is going to quit writing the blog. Really? You finally have the beloved followers that you always wanted and now you want to fucking QUIT?

My first thought: He's fishing for fucking complements. He knows the love the fans have for him... he is having a bad day and needs reassurance. So what do I do? Call his ass on it... because that's what I do.

I have a great idea, you want to quit something?

Quit being such a fucking pussy.

Quit getting drunk off of 4 damn beers.

Quit your fucking bitching.

Quit pretending that you want to stop writing, because you and I both know that's a bold-faced lie.

Please, goddammit, keep the fucking fans laughing (even if it's at you).

Keep doing what you do, and I'll keep doing what I do... calling your fucking ass out for the crazy fuck that you are...

I think I can speak for all of your readers when I say: Don't fucking do it man. And if you still feel like it's a good idea... GO FUCK YOURSELF.

You know him as J-Wunder, I think of him as THAT guy, and now, he’s just “THE QUITTER”

Your Welcome,

Ball Buster