Wednesday Factoids

FACT: I have not gotten any fucking sleep in the last two days.

FACT: I gotta shit so bad.

FACT: Lakers/Suns triple overtime game last night. BEST.GAME.EVER.

FACT: 38% of Americans will get wasted today because "Wednesday" means "drink your faces off" in some languages.

FACT: That 38% will be really hungover coming into work tomorrow. 

FACT: Spring ain't coming any fucking time soon. Fuck you assholes with nice weather.

FACT: I shouldn't have eaten all that goddamn Dubliner cheese last night. FML.

FACT: No one works a 9-5 anymore. For those of you that do, fuck off. Assholes.

FACT: Twitter is like text messaging. But the world can actually see the shit you tweet. Even stalkers.

FACT: I'll be in Vegas next Monday-Wednesday. I will work, get drunk, lose money and hopefully not end up in a random hotel with a prostitute. If I do, I will write about it. Not shame on me. Shame on you for wishing it happens.

FACT: 56% of the working class would love more than anything to stab one their co-workers in the eye today. With a dull knife.

FACT: Half of you are laughing, the other half think this blog post is absolutely fucking stupid.

FACT: When I posted on FB "I took one look at myself this morning and got a boner," half my FB friends thought I turned gay. News flash: if you aren't confident enough to admit you have popped wood or got a little wet, based on how fucking AWESOME you look, you are probably fucking ugly. Just sayin'.

FACT: 60% of you didn't like that previous comment.

FACT: I overheard a chick on BART this morning go off on a girl that hooked up with her boyfriend. Um sweety, sorry to tell you this but, you're a fucking idiot. Don't hate the girl that got your boyfriends dick wet. Hate your boyfriend for fucking someone other than you.  #winning

FACT: 82% of you just laughed. The other 18% don't get it.

FACT: "Sunday-Funday" is the dumbest shit I have ever heard of.

FACT: "Shitfaced-Saturday" is much better.

FACT: 100% of people on FB talk to 10% of their "friends". The other 90% are just for stats. Lets be real people, no mother fucker really has "534 friends". If you think so, punch yourself in the goddamn face. Idiot.

FACT: When using the letters "LOL" how many people really "LOL"? This is not a fact, huh? More of a question. I feel pretty stupid now. LOL.

FACT: 92% of people will post on their FB status today, "Happy Hump Day". Out of that 92%, 10% will be having sex. I won't be the one out of that 10%.

FACT: I'm done for now. Peace.