You see this guy in the picture? Not yours truly, but the drunk fucking Mexican with his mouth open looking like he's about to suck on a donkey penis? Yeah, that guy. That's my good buddy, Albert. Today's his fucking birthday and I want to wish him a Happy Fucking Birthday. It's not just "another birthday" either. This funny mother fucker just turned 30 years old. Welcome to the age where you can't drink like a 21 year old anymore, your balls get a few more wrinkles, and the only chicks that talk to you are either over 50, homeless or need a ride to the nearest Greyhound Bus Station.Welcome to the club primo!
This Friday, myself along with a few other buddies plan to embark on a journey to sunny Sacramento, CA for a joyous celebration. If none of you have ever been to Sac, don't worry, it ain't fucking Las Vegas...I can tell you that much. Basically, it's a cleaner Fresno with 2 more "clubs" and 10 more bars. But enough about the broke version of Los Angeles. This Friday, I am hoping to get Albert drunk, laid and possibly a tattoo of his liking. AND, if he is up for it, get him a few lap dances from those awesome Sac-town strippers that barely have any teeth but give 2 for 1 lap dances any day of the week.
Cheers buddy and here's to another 30 years! Oh, and if I were you, I would drink lots of water and eat a ton of fucking bread. Hanging out with me, your ass may not ever wake up. Not that I'm a bad influence, I just like to have a good time. That's all.
No comments:
Post a Comment