"What the fuck is with...Neighborhood bottle service??"

Dear J-Wunder,

What the fuck is with guys who get bottle service? At a neighborhood bar, no less?

Please enlighten me,
I Want My Bar Back
 
Ball Buster Insight:

Dear I Want My Bar Back,

You're right... it wasn't too long ago that I remember when bottle service was just for the elite. Those with fuck-loads of money. And just in places like Vegas, NYC and LA.

Fast forward to 2011, and bottle service has become the standard (and I'm not talking just at Tao in Vegas either) but at all high-end clubs all over the country. AND, the craziest part is that your everyday, joe-shmo, bar is now offering bottle service to any random fuck who wants to drop some coin.

Usually it is just 6-7 douchbags sitting around a table cheersing each other every time someone says "I got laid." BUT, every once in a while you'll have some dumb-as-rocks, fake-tittied bitches think it's fucking Reggie Bush sitting at the table (yes clearly you saw this fucking loser on TV, bitch) and this jersey chaser will cause a scene like none other. This is when you douchebags win.

So now not only do you see the group of Investment Bankers, Hedge fund guys, 0r commercial real estate jerkoffs, but you also see that tattooed Jersey Shore wanna-be who is funding his evening from his latest scratch ticket winnings. And the worst part, for us normal bar patrons, we're now exposed to this ridiculous douchebaggery. When at one point in time, bottle service was meant to separate you from the masses, now you can sit at any table in the bar and have "bottle service" (i.e., mixing your own drinks at 20x the cost of the bottle). And goddammit, I don't want to be a part of it.

Where is the exclusivity people??! Now you just look like you want to drop an extra $400 for a good time. You might as well just take that money down to a neighborhood strip club for some rub and tug... because at the end of the day, that's what you're looking for.

All I ask, please stop taking over my favorite dive bars, I really don't want to have to resort going out in the Tenderloin.

Dive Bars are for Real Drinkers,

Ball Buster