Today was one of those fucking days.I'm not talking about one of those days where you get so pissed off that you start to Facebook status some bullshit like you're about to kill somebody and how life fucking sucks. Then proceed to have 20 friends posts comments on how "<blank's> not worth it," or "the grass is always greener on the other side." Fuck that and fuck those people. Goddamn attention whores.
And it's not one of those days where I got shat on by a big ass fucking bird. Or stepped in a bum's puddle of urine. It was nothing like that.
I'm talking about one of those days where the handicapped lady standing next to you on the BART platform says, "You look like you need a hug." Hug? How bout a fucking blow job lady? How does that sound? Don't offer me a fucking hug. You know who needs a hug, is that kid that looks like he shit his goddamn pants and is about to cry. Today is not a day for fucking hugs for fuck's sake.
It's a day where anything I think about is way too overwhelming. Nothing makes sense. Kinda like that black dude standing behind me with a mustache like Hitler. No joke. This dude looks like a black Adolf Hitler. But he's African American. What the fuck is going on right now? What's next, a Doppelganger J-Wunder that's a tranny?
What the fuck was I thinking when I said I wasn't going to drink booze for the whole month of February? Oh, and why not get a goddamn head start by starting today. That must have been the dumbest fucking thing I have ever thought of. Fuck I need a drink. I mean, I'm no alcoholic, but lets be honest...booze takes away the stress. The worry. It gives you beer goggles. Not that I get beer goggles, but it's always a nice incentive. Especially around ugly people. How the fuck am I gonna last with no booze for another 28 days? I just fucking started the "new me" today. I could easily go have one but I gotta have some self-control, right? It hasn't even been 24 hours and I'm seconds away from walking to the fridge and grabbing a beer. It's one of those days.
Today has been one big ass fucking bimbo moment, I swear. Like when a girl is giving a dude a blow job for the first time and thinks it's a great fucking idea to use their teeth. They have no particular reason why they do it, they just do it. Kinda like my day. Wait...that doesn't even make any fucking sense, now that I think about it. And why did I just compare sucking dick for the first time to my day today? What is wrong with me?
I think it's time to go to bed soon. If tomorrow is anything like today, I might just go ram my fucking head into a brick wall. Time to get it together.
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