MAX-imum Awkwardness

Here's a story my buddy Tony sent me.  He takes public transportation to work too.  It's good to know there are other crazy people outside of California that actually bother us normal folk.  Enjoy.

It was a regular day of heading into work on the Max line here in Beaverton, OR.  With no inclination of what was about to be one of the most interesting rides I have ever had.  I was trying to find a place to sit and of course I had to sit next to a guy I could tell was definitely overly intoxicated.  As I sat down I could feel the stare down coming from his direction.  I first thought he was going to take a swing at me but instead, I got a tap on my arm.  Then it starts. 

He says, "Hey man?"  So of course I'm like, "What's up?"  He says, "Are you ready man?"  I'm like, "For what?"  He's like, "For the end of the civilization."  Then to top it off he's pretending like he was shooting a gun and then moves from one side to the next.

He begins to tell me that ammunition is too expensive and says he's going to use bow and arrows instead. Then he starts imitating that he is shooting a bow & arrow. So I decided what the hell, I'll humor him and see what else he has to say, as the other riders are giggling at him while he keeps going on. Then he proceeds to tell me his life story of learning how to live off the land as a boy scout.

He went out on a three day excursion and they were taught to find food and fend for themselves. What the hell is this, the navy seals of boy scouts?  Now to keep a straight face I think I did pretty well. Then he tells me his wife thinks he's crazy as I think to myself, "She is probably nailed that one on the head."  Luckily, by this time I only have about two more stops to go. It felt like the longest ride ever.

It doesn't end there, because he then realizes we are on the MAX and he starts to ask me where are we going.  I tell him we're heading to Gresham, and if that is where he wants to go.  He tells me yeah and then proceeds to tell me if I saw him when the world starts going down, would I kill him?   I was like, "Oh no," but deep inside I am thinking, "You are the first one, if I gotta kill someone."  Lol.  Then he tells me about the one person he would trust with his life and asks me who I would trust.  I am just thinking, "Please hurry up MAX, I just want to get to work!" I told him I wasn't sure but definitely would have to think about it.  Luckily by this time, I was at my stop and said my goodbyes to him and shook his hand.  Then he had to end it off with, " Hey man, when it goes down make sure you find me."

Wow what a ride to work.  All that in short ride in.  I still laugh about it everyday.  This was classic.

My thoughts: Man, I'm just glad that crazy fucking dude didn't pull out a gun and start shooting people.  Acting like Rambo and shit.  Glad you're weren't splattered dead on the news buddy!