Carrie Ann Harkness, a 23-year-old belle from Meadville, Pennsylvania, was at a convenience store over the weekend when she was asked to leave by employees. Why the mother of two was asked to leave, we're not sure. But Lady Harkness doesn't take such requests lightly...Instead departing this fine empire of 40-ouncers and scratch-off cards, she instead chose to make her way to a walk-in freezer where bakery items such as bread, bagels and cookies were stored. Then she opened her womanly garments and urinated upon them.
We wouldn't have an issue with this if she peed on, say, the frozen beet section. Beets suck. Everyone knows that. But cookies and bagels? Are you kidding me? That's like peeing on the American flag -- or at least if the American flag was tasty enough to serve at parent-teacher conferences. Which it isn't. It's too chewy.
Anyway, it's apparently illegal in Pennsylvania to decorate Oreos with urine, since the store estimated she peed on $508 in delicious merchandise. Now Carrie Ann's charged with criminal mischief and disorderly conduct, and the fine residents of Vernon Township will forever be scared to eat another bagel.
No comments:
Post a Comment